Thought for the Week of November 13th
What Can I Believe
O God, I am so fragile:
my dreams get broken,
my relationships get broken,
my heart gets broken,
my body gets broken.
What can I believe,
except that you will not despise a broken heart,
that old and broken people shall yet dream dreams,
and that the lame shall leap for joy,
the blind see,
the deaf hear.
What can I believe,
except what Jesus taught:
that only what is first broken, like bread,
can be shared:
that only what is broken
is open to your entry:
that old wineskins must be ripped open and replaced
if the wine of new life is to expand.
So, I believe, Lord:
help my unbelief
that I may have courage to keep trying
when I am tired,
and to keep wanting passionately
when I am found wanting.
O God, I am so frail:
my life spins like a top,
bounced about by the clumsy hands
of demands beyond my doing,
fanned by furies
at a pace but half a step from hysteria,
so much to do,
my days so few and fast-spent,
and I mostly unable to recall
what I am rushing after.
What can I believe,
except that beyond the limits
of my little prayers and careful creeds,
I am not meant for dust and darkness,
but for dancing light and silver starlight.
Help my unbelief
that I may have courage
to dare to love the enemies
I have the integrity to make;
to care for little else
save my brothers and sisters of the human family;
to take time to be truly with them,
take time to see,
take time to speak,
take time to learn with them
before time takes us;
and to fear failure and death less
than the faithlessness
of not embracing love's risks.
God, I am so frantic:
somehow I've lost my gentleness
in a flood of ambition,
loss my sense of wonder
in a maze of videos and computers,
loss my integrity
in a shuffle of commercial disguises,
loss my gratitude
in a swarm of criticisms and complaints,
loss my innocence
in a sea of betrayals and compromises.
What can I believe,
except that the touch of your mercy
will ease the anguish of my memory;
that the tug of your spirit
will empower me to help carry not the burdens
I have loaded on the lives of others;
that the example of Jesus
will inspire me to find again my humanity.
So, I believe, Lord:
help my unbelief
that I may have courage
to cut free from what I have been
and gamble on what I can be,
and what you
might laughingly do
with trembling me
for your incredible world.
Ted Loder Guerrillas of Grace: Prayers for the Battle
LuraMedia, San Diego, California 1984
O God, I am so fragile:
my dreams get broken,
my relationships get broken,
my heart gets broken,
my body gets broken.
What can I believe,
except that you will not despise a broken heart,
that old and broken people shall yet dream dreams,
and that the lame shall leap for joy,
the blind see,
the deaf hear.
What can I believe,
except what Jesus taught:
that only what is first broken, like bread,
can be shared:
that only what is broken
is open to your entry:
that old wineskins must be ripped open and replaced
if the wine of new life is to expand.
So, I believe, Lord:
help my unbelief
that I may have courage to keep trying
when I am tired,
and to keep wanting passionately
when I am found wanting.
O God, I am so frail:
my life spins like a top,
bounced about by the clumsy hands
of demands beyond my doing,
fanned by furies
at a pace but half a step from hysteria,
so much to do,
my days so few and fast-spent,
and I mostly unable to recall
what I am rushing after.
What can I believe,
except that beyond the limits
of my little prayers and careful creeds,
I am not meant for dust and darkness,
but for dancing light and silver starlight.
Help my unbelief
that I may have courage
to dare to love the enemies
I have the integrity to make;
to care for little else
save my brothers and sisters of the human family;
to take time to be truly with them,
take time to see,
take time to speak,
take time to learn with them
before time takes us;
and to fear failure and death less
than the faithlessness
of not embracing love's risks.
God, I am so frantic:
somehow I've lost my gentleness
in a flood of ambition,
loss my sense of wonder
in a maze of videos and computers,
loss my integrity
in a shuffle of commercial disguises,
loss my gratitude
in a swarm of criticisms and complaints,
loss my innocence
in a sea of betrayals and compromises.
What can I believe,
except that the touch of your mercy
will ease the anguish of my memory;
that the tug of your spirit
will empower me to help carry not the burdens
I have loaded on the lives of others;
that the example of Jesus
will inspire me to find again my humanity.
So, I believe, Lord:
help my unbelief
that I may have courage
to cut free from what I have been
and gamble on what I can be,
and what you
might laughingly do
with trembling me
for your incredible world.
Ted Loder Guerrillas of Grace: Prayers for the Battle
LuraMedia, San Diego, California 1984
posted by prayerclass at 7:43 AM
1 Comments:
For the past week, I was expecting to be stress more than ever. Besides school work and college applications, this past weekend, November 17-19, I was leading a camp/retreat for youths for my youth group. This camp was scheduled for September, and it kept getting push back til this weekend. For about 3 months, I was preparing for this camp. I wanted this camp to be great and amazing. Throughout the preparation process, I think I went through everything that is in this week's thought of the week. Preparing for this camp was not only physically. It was also mentally and spiritually. I had to really believe in God and put all my faith and trust in him through out this whole preparation. And I was doing fine until saturday night came, Saturday night of the camp. I dont know why. I expected everything to hit me before camp, to stop me from preparing, but not during camp. Saturday around 5, I felt so unworthy to be leading the camp. I felt like I was not supposed to lead this camp. Everyone in the service team was trying to make me feel better, but nothing was getting through to me. I decided to talk to a priest. The priest opened up my eyes. He told me to not cry. He told me that whatever was happening to me was not me. And finally, he told me to let God work. Its okay if nothing goes the way we want it to because maybe its not in his plan. Know that his plan will be better than any of our expectations. Fr. Felix was right. This weekend was so amazing. No words can describe it. There was about 40 participants who joined this camp. And each and everyone of them, I can truly say found God through out the weekend. Those participants are my babies and I'm so proud of each and everyone of them.
Sorry, I dont know if this relates to this thought of the week but I was reading it this is what was going through my head.s
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